May 2013
27 posts
Being hollow [[MORE]]I can’t feel can’t deal. I dont don’t know how to deal. I can’t remember the days. They blur. Fucking tired. All the time, sleeping everywhere, but can’t close my eyes. Everything’s so hard. It’s all empty. This isn’t a poem I just can’t structure my words can’t talk with proper rhythm and speed because I have to...
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I wake up and I feel empty.
Why am I awake
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[[MORE]]Just shy of fourteen months and two days.
What was that? Absolutely nothing. A mere blink of an eye.
And now, you are gone. Or are you? Maybe I’m trying to look too hard. Maybe this was truly goodbye.
How could I have expected an eternity? How could I have been so foolish?
i am numb now. I do not know what to do, or how I should feel, except I would simply like to sleep forever....
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Please
[[MORE]]Please
Please
Forgive me. I’m sorry I was not perfect. I’m sorry I was insecure. I knew better. I should have acted accordingly.
I shouldn’t have pushed you to make a choice to care when you didn’t. I know you’re unhappy now, or at least devoid of happiness. I’m sorry I added to that.
But please. I just want things to go back to how they...
I fucked up. Why. Why. Why.
I’m trying so hard. I knew better. Why couldn’t I have just not asked that one questions. Why.
koulin:
pewpuupalace:
zeonhime:
the worst feeling about trying to draw is being a mediocre artist. You realize you’re not terrible and family and friends who can’t draw at all tell you all the time how amazing you are, but you, as the artist, have seen what amazing really is and you realize that it isn’t you.
500% me
oh my fuck god
this post
just
this post.
HAHAHA
fuck
my
life
suicide hotline
writingsforwinter:
It’s so hot that when our skin sticks together, even our sweat
starts sweating. When I lived in New York and you lived
in Georgia, you mailed me love notes in the form of used condoms,
but only ones that had been used when you were with me.
When I ask you if I can put kept living on my job application
because it’s a daily career, you offer to be my reference.
Sometimes...
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This is really hard. Maybe I should just let go.
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Just lost my appetite. Lame. Pathetic.
Just
FUCK.
FUCK
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I think I’ve found a (temporary) purpose again.
[[MORE]]It’s good. It’ll distract me. It’ll even keep me around for at least another half year or so.
Ah, how I love the sense of being unconsciously necessary to another.
There was a line in a story I once read: “You need him, and he needs to be needed.” You don’t need to know you need...
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[[MORE]]
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I don’t want to do anything. Why can’t I just—die?
Turn to a corner and close my eyes and just stop. I just want to stop. I just want everything to stop.
I’m so tired. I think I’m empty now. I gave up all of myself for one. Then I gave up my life for another.
It was stupid. I’m pathetic. I know. It was...
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[[MORE]]I am very tired right now. I always feel as though my problems are very insignificant and silly because I never have very traumatic problems. I have never been forced to suffer and be someone universally pitiable. Instead I have many boy problems or other such; I am silly and stupid and sensitive for no reason. But I think I am depressed, of sorts, and I wish I had someone to comfort me....
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bloodandgutsinhighschool:
*cries into pile of unfinished homework and crushed dreams*
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Breathe.
April 2013
36 posts
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I just wanted this one thing. This one good thing in life.
I accepted that everything else in life would be awful. That life would be undesirable and awful. School would be hard. I would have a difficult time socializing with and understanding people. I will always be tired and sad. I got unlucky genetics and ended up short and average. I’ll have some or several or many fake or fleeting or...
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So fucking done.
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“I buried my head under the darkness of the pillow and pretended it was night. I...”
– Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar (via rubsey)
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There isn’t much of a point—well not like there needs to be a point, of course not, but there should be
meaning
shouldn’t there?
What am I doing wasting all this fucking time just goinggoinggoing plodding along this useless
fucking
life.
WHY.
There is nothing I want to do. Nothing and no one I aspire to become, no place I need to go. I have lost my fire, my purpose, my...
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During my 4D class on Friday, we were assigned a character with three random characteristics (mine were tall, stylish, and observant) and then asked to write a one page narrative starting with the words “I was just fired. I walked out and went…”
I actually liked mine (somewhat anyway), so I’ve decided to post it. Opinions?
—
[[MORE]]I was just fired. I walked out and went straight to the...
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I just want to stab myself. Like between the metacarpals of my right hand.
Or my heart.
I’m not picky.
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Last night I decided to ban myself from reading anymore fanfiction for the rest of the school year (11 days motherfuckers) and ughhh the regret Q__Q
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"it's not me, it's you"
writingsforwinter:
Are you sleeping with someone else he asks;
I shake my head no, but my eyes probably tell a different story:
that every time he walks into a room my heart explodes,
and not even a specially-trained SWAT team
could clean up the mess it left behind;
his mouth gives me water damage an ocean would only
dream of. He leaves his underwear wherever he removes it,
in bed, in the...
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[[MORE]]
I really fucking hate self righteous people.
Like the whole thing about gun control. I, personally, am totally okay with guns and gun violence and less strict gun laws, but I understand that there are people who don’t agree with it and are against guns. Which is fine. What’s fucking annoying is the tone of voice of all these things I see and hear, where the subtext is...
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[[MORE]]
I feel like in a way, a lot of things are—not falling apart, exactly, but going astray. Like a photograph frame, tilted at an angle, stubbing a toe, papers drifting down after being knocked over.
I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to do anything anymore. Just—just sleep and run and look pretty and eat little and read contentedly, wrapped in blankets....
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I need to stop FAILING.
Anonymous asked: what do you think about sex? is it nice, is it fun, is it as great as everyone says it is, should you wait til marriage, what age is appropriate for sex, what kind of person should you have sex with, etc etc.
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The weather is beautiful today and my legs look incredible and I’m very seriously considering going into character development as a career and that’s what we’re doing in Drawing right now (assignment due tomorrow) and it’s stressing me out because I’m not creative and I don’t draw characters well but it’s so interesting and impressive and all I want in...
