Updates:

1. I have been home for less than 2 hours total in the past 3 days. If that. But now it’s the weekday and parties shall be more difficult to stumble upon.

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Goddammit so behind on this.

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So Tumblr isn’t blocked in China which is super useful (Facebook is,though, which is super annoying. Would anyone like to tell me how to get past the block?)

In any case, I’ve decided to bullet my days cos I have a bad memory, but these are gonna be super boring posts. Jsyk.

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today in bullet points

• woke up before 8am in Sam’s car
• read and finished Buried Fire, then began rereading I, Robot for about two hours
• around 10, Sam got up and drove us to an emptier street so we could pack up sleeping bags and stuff
• went home and showered and ate lunch and chatted with Sam until 1:30
• went to the Saratoga library w/ Sam to check out The Emperor’s New Grove, Spirited Away, and Castle in the Sky
• went to Bintang until 4:30. got sleepy
• went to Safeway and then Rite Aid and then another Safeway on the search for pineapple soda as well as free photo pickup
• went home to eat and shower and then chatted with Sam from ~6:30 to 8. headache.
• went over to watch the Emperor’s New Groove and eat cherries and 包子
• spent an hour from 10-11 talking and getting home. was called an idiot savant in terms of art knowledge. i disagree.
• wasted time on the internet.
• good night.

I’ve been sleeping the whole day away and am about to go back to sleep but quick post with several things—

-first of all: quick diary update: after beach day, came back home at around 11, 12, went to sleep from 1 to 1 and got up and showered. Went to the library with the intention of doing homework but napped for almost 2 hours and then went home to change into a miniskirt from sweatpants. Went over to Sam’s briefly and then to pick up Rebecca and met Jennifer at Elephant Bar. Food was pretty good. Pretty fun; interesting dynamic. Sam paid; didn’t realize that he was paying for me as well until cheque came; sighs. Went to Honeyberry; ate at JDM Park; came home at around 10 or so; slept from 11 to 4.

-Highlights of day: 1. sleeping for 19 hours
2. Taking off my shorts from underneath my skirt in the middle of dinner w/o anyone noticing
3. Felt rather pretty (for myself) with nice skin and really straight/soft hair (for like 2 hours until I got tired. then felt normal and meh)
4. Almost said something stupid right before going inside
5. Got to hang out with Rebecca & Jennifer :)
6. Noticing the solar eclipse w/ Sam with the “Hey! The world looks like we’re looking at it through sunglasses…” (‘There’s a misty layer of cloud or something’ ‘You mean smog?’ ‘Derp’—> 3 hours later: ‘OH RIGHT THERE WAS A SOLAR ECLIPSE’) 
7. Sam has been accidentally using tanning lotion because he thought it was moisturizer.  

-I have lots and lots of homework to do tomorrow.

-I should post more art on this tumblr, esp. since I seem to have started drawing again.

-I need to remember to give out those wallet sized senior photo things. Sighs. Troublesome. 

-I actually meant to post two things, but I can’t remember the second one. Oh well~

Good night~

Today I woke up at around 1:30ish or so, after having slept for a good 13 hours. Showered. Had breakfast lunch at Sam’s: spam, egg, and rice. 

Went to Starbucks Happy Hour (strawberry&creamfrappuciodoubleblendedwhippedcreametcetc), and then the library with Sam and Ruth.

Prom photo stalking all day~

Went back to Sam’s, dropped off Ruth, read manga, picked up their dinner from Le Quy (?), came back, ate dinner, more manga, music then

running at Campbell Community Center and practice driving I’m never gonna learn how to drive at this rate like 10 minutes every other week

back home before midnight.

And here are some photos of us at the library:

Sam taking notes. Me camwhoring and prom-photo-stalking and tumblring and all of those other activities.

Good night.

—

On Monday, we finally fixed things. We’re good again, our conversations no longer a facade for uneasiness and awkward hurt feelings.

It was good to talk to you. Good to smile at you and ramble and pet your hair, good to hear your voice and feel as though I were important to you in some present, tangible part of your life.

But, at the same time, it felt like saying goodbye. We’ve straightened things out (sorta,hopefully,i-think-so-anyway), but…

…that also means that we’ve shut the door to a segment of our relationship, turned our backs to the past, and started on a new path.

Even though I may look back (once,twice,three-times)…I think we’ve finished that road. Although in the future we may come across a street reminiscent of the one we have just left, for now at least, we have both taken the first steps on a new path.

So here it is, with farewellgoodbye and I-love-yous and new hellos. And if all goes well, we will actually become best friends again.

—

It’s not perfect yet of course. Still trying to test boundaries and limits, still trying to figure out what’re your sore spots, the words and people and issues I shouldn’t talk about so soon.

Still trying to figure out how to be honest while keeping my secrets, while being fair to you and you and everyone else.

We’re definitely confusing the general population though. :3

—

—

Your absence in my life…is not as jarring as I expected it to be, considering the amount of my life you’ve taken up in the past few weeks, month, even.

Instead of missing you, my days felt duller. No hurt, no sorrow, only a sort of wistfulness, a desire to see your face and talk to you, for hours without end. To watch you sing, to argue with you, to be silly and random, to listen for the fragments of your soul as you quietly, slowly reveal them to me.

But life without you is not hard or painful or difficult, only less.

I hope I see you Sunday.

—

Talking on the phone with you is still hard. 

Too much of our conversations are about the comfortable silences, the careful observation of subtle expressions and body language and soft touches. I’m so used to tracing the planes of your face with my eyes that I almost don’t know what to say when I can’t see you.

Thank you for calling me.

—

I haven’t publicly written anything personal for a while, although I do have several drafts of written stuff. Or so it feels. Maybe I’m remembering wrong.

But anyway, here’s an update, of a sorts.

Well, the most obvious one—my hair is now blue. Sadly, it’s a dark dark blue, but it’s lovely and bright in sunlight.

@seoericc: Thanks! And I like the blond too haha. Blond is probably my favorite hair color. xD 

Second semester senior in high school now~ I’m always tired. So tired. Which is, in itself, exhausting to even think about. As a result, I’ve been rather snappy recently; I’m actually quite irritated right now. 

I‘ve also been eating irregularly, skipping dinner every night to eat two grapefruits. Craving fruity stuff really sucks when all there is at home is grapefruit (yummy), apples (bleh), and bananas (disgusting).

I want mango and/or coconut. Gelato/ice cream/pearl milk tea also sound quite delicious. Maybe my mother will buy me some tomorrow.

After all, there’s the blood drive, which I will be both volunteering at and participating in. Donating blood always makes me like…hyper and giddy. But I don’t expect this year to be as fun as last year, where I got to skip out on my entire B day.

Nom, kay homeworking and drawing now.

Good night and good bye.

1. Hot showers are the single greatest invention. Ever. 

The single greatest thing about showers, however, (excluding the whole ~I’m clean~~ feeling) is having satisfied feet. I kid you not.

Like, my feet just feel really good after being scrubbed and massaged and all that. This is especially noticeable after I wake up and feel like washing my feet but don’t take a shower.

2. Sometimes, when people, especially guys, are good at something, when they are capable or skilled or talented..it’s like…Oh. When did you get sexy? Or at the very least, much much more attractive (because some people I cannot ever be or simply am not attracted to. they just become…more…attractive).

Like this one guy, who has the most inspirational voice, ever. 

Or this other guy, who shows surprising maturity at the most surprising times, in all the conflicts that aren’t his fault.

Like this one guy who I dislike sporadically. When he dances, it…makes up for every time he’s ever been rude to me or brushed me off. Suddenly, he’s so attractive, it’s ridiculous.

And then the song ends.

3. Today, I went to a studio session with the guys. I was originally not planning to go.

I’ve been tired. I haven’t slept properly in two, maybe three weeks. There are days when my daytime naps make up more sleep time than actually sleeping at night. Plus, I’d been having a pretty bad day, so all I really wanted to do was mope (even though I knew I would only feel worse afterwards for wasting time).

So, in the end, I decided to go. And I am super super happy that I went. :)

One, I stretched a lot. It was satisfying because I’d forgotten how flexible I appear after I’m all stretched out. I’m mostly likely going to be sore tomorrow, but that is totally okay.

Two, I actually like…moved. Danced. Whatever. Choreo, bboying, stretching, etc. Very productive hehe. I<3productivity.

Three, attractive guys hehehe. Has anyone else noticed how sexy Peter is when he dances to his choreos? LOL

Dancing definitely salvaged my day.

Thankyou muchos David. :D Kamsamnida. (If I remember correctly, which I probably don’t.)

4. My current favorite songs are I Hate Love by Claude Kelly and Finally Free by Destorm feat. Talib Kweli.

I’m being productive and whatnot, which makes me super super happy. :)

Yesterday, I…went to drawing class, went bowling, got pearl milk tea, ate at IHOP for the first time, and wrote my first draft for the Pratt app.

Today, I volunteered for 4 hours, bought earrings, got my essay edited, got pearl milk tea, went to an orchestra concert, napped, rewrote my essay, and wrote the first draft for the Otis app.

:)

Now I’m going to go to sleep.

Goodnight.

Oh and Rebecca, I started replying to your message…then I pressed backspace, and it went back to the blank tab and I lost all of it. :( Which is why I haven’t replied yet. Because I am easily discouraged LOLOL.

Reminders to self: tomorrow, I must go to drawing class, do gov hw because it’s due by midnight, preferably write the volunteering essay, rewrite the Otis essay, go running (LOL not happening), finish the brag sheet/Naviance, do English homework, and find more music.

1. You all should check out my writing tumblr, which, btw, does not contain any of my own writing. Just good stuff I find, poetry, articles, quotes, inspirational whatnot. :P [Link].

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