MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO!! IT’S THE DEFINITION OF BEAUTIFUL!
This went around recently, and, when I saw the descriptions and the gif sets on tumblr, I thought, oh, what an interesting and nice idea.
And that was it. I really had no interest in this video. Then I read this post. I found it unnecessarily harsh, caring too much and picking at details such as the lack of diversity and the beautiful message in what I had thought was a misguided interpretation of the video’s intent.
But now that I’ve watched this video, I have to agree with @jazzylittledrops. While I still find the idea quite interesting and an appealing way to open someone’s eyes about themselves, the manner that this video communicated this was, quite frankly, disgusting.
When she pointed out that the all of the main participants were young, thin, Caucasian, I thought, so what? And now that I’ve watched it, it’s like, wow, these people are so obviously white, young, thing, pretty. They’re not an accurate representation of the population’s looks, age, weight. There is genuinely no diversity in this video.
The message at the end also horrifies me. Like, I love beauty. It’s what I aim for, it’s why I do what I do, why I draw and read and write, why I’m going to art school. But even I can understand that beauty is NOT important. It’s great to have, but is it necessary to being a great person, a great friend, doing great things, being happy, fulfilling your dreams? Fuck no. If you’re ugly, so what? If you’re beautiful, great. Be honest with yourself and live.
This could have been great. It could have been about not putting yourself down, being more accepting of yourself, seeing who you truly are, not worrying so much about your appearance, etc, etc. But instead, it’s about how you can’t be anything without being beautiful and that’s just awful.
The weather is very pleasant at the moment. It has cooled down from earlier of sunshine and clear skies, to evening, to gray clouds and light rain and distant thunder.
As of late, my life has been plodding along steadily. My room is a mess, but I find things easily; my phone is falling apart but tape keeps it together for weeks on end; I play league too-frequently—and it is fun—but with friends who I don’t even really know.
My grades are—decent. I think. I got into most of the classes and times I want to for next year. I have started exercising again. I drink infrequently and smoke even less.
What I’m trying to say is, I think, is that my life has reached a stasis. I have neither fallen behind nor risen above.
Yet in another manner of speaking, simply not rising above equates falling behind.
I have become mediocre and predictable and boring.
But I want to be GREAT I want to do EVERYTHING I want to be courageous no matter where I go or what I am doing I want to be interesting and glamorous and intelligent I want all of it.
Or you know, nothing at all. Death.
In a way, nothing and everything become—exactly the same thing.
So today while I was showering, I was thinking about this one quote I saw the other day. I don’t really remember it, but it was basically about how only weak people didn’t forgive but that strong people did. Something like that.
Anyway, I disagree with it, simply because forgiveness, to me, is something that IS.
It’s like liking/loving someone. It doesn’t have anything to do with logic or reason or one’s behavior desire to. It either is or it isn’t. There’s no fucking choice to forgiveness.
And this is really because I don’t forgive. Ever. The stuff that I get mad about and don’t care about just mean that I’ve forgotten about it, so it doesn’t matter.
But there are random issues and problems and shit that I will never fucking forgive you for. There really aren’t many, like, three or five or something, but one’s from fifth grade and it can STILL make me cry because I get so fucking pissed off about it.
So now I’m super annoyed T__T For these things, I’d push you through the doorway to fucking hell if I could.
I’m starting class tomorrow.
I haven’t had much to say; it’s one of the reasons I haven’t posted much. Well, I’ve also been quite busy and going out a lot, but that’s more of an excuse, not a reason.
It’s hard to say how I feel about actually starting to college—there’s no conscious fear or excitement or anxiety, nothing, really. It’s almost unnerving to feel so little because I know it is not that I feel nothing, but that I have hidden it because I am with strangers at all hours all the time.
Even though my roommate is lovely and wonderful and friendly, she is still a stranger. Even if I were to walk onto campus at the late deserted hours, I wouldn’t feel alone.
It’s not bad. Just tiring.